The other day I ran into my old friend Ron.
He knew me when I was a small fry.
I was joking about how I didn’t eat enough as a kid, but my younger brother did (because he’s four inches taller and strong as an ox).
Ron told me “I remember coming over to your house and you and your siblings were eating birdseed out of the feeder!”
For a minute I was shocked.
But then I wasn’t.
Ron is one of the most honest people I’ve ever met in my life. He’s taught me a lot over the years.
And he’s got grit. One time as a young adult he walked to Alaska from Ohio. It took six months.
He’s tough as nails and kind as they come.
I have six siblings.
One older sister and five younger brothers.
I remember catching one of my brothers (the third kid, the next after me) sneaking dog food as a snack more than once.
I’m sorry, but that’s f*cked up that we had to go through being that hungry.
There were many many years where I denied the fact that I grew up poor.
I didn’t trust my memory and I didn’t want to remember some of the hard things I experienced as a kid.
Unfortunately, all that denial didn’t make the trauma go away.
I wish that stuffing things down was the answer to healing…
But it’s not.
As entrepreneurs, we are incredibly sensitive which means we experience trauma in a deeper way.
Often it means we have to go back and parent ourselves all over again from the early years.
That’s some of the work I’ve been doing for the past few years.
I decided back in 2018 that I could father myself the way that I’d never been fathered.
I decided to love all of me.
That I could absorb the motherly love that I see my partner Rachel show my son every day.
As well as the motherly love I simply witness from all the amazing mothers on my team and all the amazing mothers I’m honored to call friends.
I’m proud of myself for doing this work.
You should be proud of yourself too when you face your demons.
Today I feel tender. My heart is a little sore and that’s ok.
I don’t have an offer for you.
I don’t have a link to the next big idea that I’m launching to help entrepreneurs.
All I have is three requests for you:
1 — Please don’t minimize any of the trauma you’ve experienced.
It did happen and it hurt. Even if it was just “small” as someone saying something mean to you. If it hurts your heart, it’s ok to feel everything deeply and honor your broken parts.
Many of us have experienced much deeper wounds too.
The way we heal is to bring the wounds to light and to honor them and let them heal.
The scars are ok. The wounds don’t need to bleed forever though.
2 — Please reach out when you’re stuck and hurting.
While I am not a mental health professional, I am a friend. I can listen or point you in the right direction.
Please be brave and tell those around you who love you how you really feel. That’s how we heal.
This life is beautiful.
It is wonderful.
And sometimes it’s really hard too. So it’s ok (and it’s wise and right) to ask for help.
Don’t walk the path alone.
3 — When you feel your heart telling you to check on someone – do it!
You never know when someone is feeling alone and tired.
We can’t do this life alone very successfully and we only have about 4,400 weeks anyway. So don’t waste the opportunity to check in on someone when you can.
So that’s my word for today.
Love those around you.
You won’t regret it.
And just so you know, I’m ok 🙂
I’m just taking time to honor all of me.
I hope you’ll do the same today.
And thank you for reading this and hearing my heart.
That means the world to me.
With all my love,
P.S. It’s funny how emotions sneak up on us and ask us to honor them. Sometimes it’s after a hard week. Sometimes it’s after an amazingly successful week or project launch. We don’t always get to decide when our past shows up. We can however decide to love ourselves and honor those emotions and memories when they do show up. Do that. You won’t regret it.
You are worthy of love, care, and nutrition on all fronts. Love yourself more today. Ok?