“Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you’re keeping score, you’ll lose at your own game”. — Faydra D. Fields.
While some people believe that you should never keep scores in any relationship, I beg to differ. I think that you can keep scores in not only your personal relationships but your business ones as well. Today, I’ll show you what you need to know about keeping score in your relationships.
What is Keeping Scores in a Relationship?
Keeping a score is where you make note of another person’s actions or comments, typically for future reference. Most of the time, people associate keeping score for negative experiences and bring them up in arguments or disagreements. In many cases, this score is proof of the point you’re talking about.
Are Keeping Scores Only for Negative Events or Situations?
Most people only think about the negative or bad events or situations when they keep score. And, I want to tell you that yes, you should keep score of the negative, but you cannot forget about all the positive things that can happen.
In any relationship, you want to remember not only the bad but the good as well. Both aspects are what builds deeper connections. As an entrepreneur, deep connections are something to fight hard for.
Do I Have to be in an Intimate Relationship to Keep Scores?
While many of us may think you need to be in an intimate relationship, but in reality, you can keep score in any relationship you have with anyone. I have seen it with friendships, parents, children, coworkers, bosses, employees, teachers, students and couples.
In my business, I do this with many of my clients, and I expect them to do the same. Relationships are all about equally giving and taking. If one party decides to do one of the two more than the other, there’s an imbalance.
What Questions Should I ask Myself When Looking at a Relationship?
When developing a relationship with anyone, I ask myself these questions:
- Is this a relationship that I can add value to? If so, how?
- Am I willing to go 100 percent of the way in this relationship and serve the other person? If not, why?
- Am I confident that if I lean in and keep track of all the values I add, that one plus one can make at least a score of 11?
- Can I create lasting value and impact by what I’m creating?
- Is this a relationship, that when I give my all, will lead to synergy and positivity?
By following these questions, I can thoroughly decide if I want to continue a relationship and if it is worth it to keep track of everything that goes down between us. At the end of the day, it’s your decision if the relationship is valuable enough to keep.
What are Some Tips I Shouldn’t Follow?
As an entrepreneur, I’ve come across a load of bad advice, especially when it comes to relationships. Here are just a few of the common ones:
– “Don’t create a business where you have to talk to your clients too often!”
– “Don’t email your list too often, you’ll get unsubscribes because they are annoyed with you!”
– “Make sure your list is really big, it’s a numbers game!”
– “All you need is more _______!” (fill in the blank with the latest trend…)
I, 100 percent, believe that you should always keep scores in your relationship. You need to keep track of who you invest in and take amazing care of the relationships you do have. Without these connections, where would your company be? Plus, the more you pay attention and grow the relationship, the better it will be for you and your partnership in the future.
What is the Advice I Should Follow?
Even though there is a ton of bad advice, there is also a load of good suggestions. When people ask me for the best advice about keeping score, I always tell them:
- Be candid.
- Be caring.
- Be strong.
- And be kind.
You never want to come off as rude, egotistical, self-centered or meanwhile keeping scores in your relationship. Yes, you want to hold everyone accountable for their actions and comments, the good and the bad.
Can Keeping Scores Help My Business?
Keeping scores in business is a must. This act takes a step in investing in your audience, partners and social media followers. By taking the time to invest in these areas, you can get huge results and revenue. Here is a big tip you should always remember — when you invest in the relationship first, everything else will work out just fine.