When I think about happiness I think a lot about Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search For Meaning. I read this book over 2 years ago now, but I think about it on an almost daily basis. It is one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read. Thanksgiving always makes me think a lot about what I am thankful for and this book has really helped gain perspective over and over again.
The basis of Viktor’s book is that happiness and meaning in life is not just about attaining these things but its also about our striving to find them. For me it’s also been the realization that happiness is something we internalize and it’s not just about circumstances, security, or any kind of certainty. I think a lot about what Viktor wrote early in the morning when I wake up and walk to work or when I am walking home late at night.
In the book he clearly describes one morning where he is hungry, starving, exhausted, and in generally despicable physical condition. He and the other prisoners are marching in the darkness of early dawn to go dig more trenches for his Nazi captors. As the sun begins to peak over the horizon and it begins to take away the darkness of night Viktor looks into the sky and vividly imagines his wife smiling down at him. He then proceeds to have an imaginary silent conversation with her.
When he is done describing his imaginary conversation with his wife he shares that he wasn’t having a vision of any kind and he was aware of this at the time. He understood very clearly that he wasn’t communicating with anyone at all, he was just making it up in his mind. What he realized in the midst of the worst experiences of his life was that his happiness came from believing that he would see his loved ones again. It came from his choice to internalize his happiness despite the outward circumstances that were filled with terrible death and destruction.
When I step back and consider the lavish life of freedom that I live I am incredibly thankful that I’ve never experienced anything so terrible. I’m incredibly thankful for the people who have fought and who fight to protect my freedom here in the United States. I’m thankful for all those who have taught me the things I now know today. I have been blessed by so many people in my life.
There was something about that passage in the book that really hit home for me. After I read it, understood it, and thought about it, I realized that there is absolutely no one who can take away my happiness except me. I am also the only person who can provide long term happiness in my life. I think that:
Happiness is independent of wealth or lack of wealth.
Happiness is independent of health or lack of health.
Happiness is independent of good or bad relationships.
Happiness in the end becomes my choice. I’ve personally met Auschwitz death camp survivors. In light of what they experienced and in comparison to what Viktor experienced my choice is very simple.
I’ve chosen to be happy and content as possible at all times. When I think I’m having a bad day I think about Viktor.